Couples who seek help from me have often become disconnected from each other. They may be staying in the same house, but living in two separate worlds. Arguments may have taken over their relationship, or an affair has come between them, or they may be wondering whether to separate. What I do is help them face the crisis in the relationship, de-escalate the pattern of argument, and recapture the closeness they may have felt earlier. This approach involves exploring emotions, facing difficult thoughts, and sharing these with a partner. For some people this activity may be new, and perhaps uncomfortable. I create a safe place where partners can risk being more open to each other. These moments of emotional intimacy then spread to other parts of the relationship. I work from an Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) perspective and am certified in that approach.
Four questions often asked by clients
What should we expect in the first sessions?
People often expect advice, and for me to tell them what they should or shouldn’t do about their problems. My approach is to help you talk to and hear each other, and strengthen the bond between you. Once communication has been re-established, you will be able to figure out most of your own problems.
At the beginning, I need you to help me understand where you are stuck in the relationship. I ask you and your partner to describe your view of the relationship, any problems you may be experiencing, and what you see as your own and your partner’s part in these problems. I also explain my approach to therapy so we can see if there is a match between what you need and what I am able to offer.
In the second session, I usually get a history of the relationship and see how problems may have developed over time. Then, I meet you and your partner separately and gather information about your own families and what you experienced growing up. After this assessment, I’m in a position to share with you where I think you’re stuck, where we should go with the counseling, and approximately how many sessions you might need.
What is the cost?
My fee is $160 per session. Sessions last 1 – 1 1/4 hours. Psychological services are not covered by New Brunswick Medicare. However, I am a registered Blue Cross provider, and most health insurance covers psychological services. You should check with your insurance company to find out the extent of your coverage.
How long until we can be seen?
Most of the time, I can arrange an appointment within two to three weeks. However, at some times of the year I may be unable to see you. In that case I will give you names of other therapists in the area or if you wish, place you on a waiting list.
Will it help?
Research has supported EFT as an effective treatment for marital/couple problems and most couples find that it improves their relationship. Research studies have shown that about 90% of couples show improvement, and about 70% recover from marital distress. However, it’s important to recognize that this isn’t 100% and some couples decide to separate. This sometimes happens as partners take a closer look at their lives and feel that the distance between them is too big to bridge.
To learn more about EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy), please read the following PDF